The American Queen Adventure Day 1

What happened last night? I remember being in the ‘Engine Room’ bar and I think I was singing ‘Rainbow Connection’ with a gorgeous woman who looked like Paula Deen but skinnier and lots more amusing. It is 7:16am and my head is a mud pie. God help me when I see my bar tab. Oh and I think someone is taking me to a music store to buy a banjo today too. Lord, and who was that little old German lady that I spun around the dance floor so fast we almost fell over?

All in a nights work on my first night on the American Queen paddle boat cruise down the Mississippi River. 

How did I end up on this thing? I think it had to do with a bottle or two of wine as well. I remember about six months ago, Rod got a phone call from his mama, Dotty. “Well I just booked a trip on a river boat all by myself! Sure would be nice to have some company...” Rod dead panned, I’ll go if you go. I called my mother and before I finished my sentence she was booked. So here we are!

We arrived in St. Louis on Sunday and had a lovely dinner at Herbies downtown. Mama and Dotty have never met so it was a night of introductions and family stories. Monday we took a twirl up the famous St. Louis arch, took a cab to ‘antiques row’ and then boarding the ship at 3.

I have to admit I was expecting the boat to be a bit on the Disney side of camp with cardboard decor and dusty fake flowers. I am pleasantly surprised. Built in 1995 the American Queen is apparently the largest steam boat ever built. The paddle is impressive and churns at a mighty fast rate. Our room has enviable ‘Arts & Crafts’ wallpaper and the gentleman’s lounge is stocked with handsome boar and bear taxidermy.

I think the dining room is my favorite. It is so very Harmonia Gardens! I’m waiting for Dolly Levy to order a turkey dinner any evening. There is also a calliope on the top floor. If you are not familiar, it is a horrid invention of the Victorian’s birthed from whistles and steam. If you have ever heard the nightmarish music of a merry-go-round, you have heard a calliope.

After settling in we trotted off to dinner at 5:15. Yes, you read correctly. We booked in for the early bird dinner and since everyone on this thing is 90+, dinner is either at 5:15 or 7:15. We figured we should take the earlier seating so we can start drinking at a decent hour. You know.

Our Maitre d’ is memorable. His name is Chris and he has a french twist and brows for days. When I found out he is from Atlanta we became dear friends. My other favorite person so far is the singer from the ‘Engine Room’ bar who I mentioned earlier.

After dinner we went to the floor show where two couples sang every riverboat song in the book. They started the show in 1880’s clothes and made their way through the 20s, 40s and ended with  60s sequins and some seriously jacked wigs. Oh and their band was called ‘The Steamboat Syncopators’. I am so stealing that one.

Here is the playlist:

Proud Mary- Ike and Tina

Roll on Mississippi- Charley Pride

The River- Garth Brooks

Riverboat Days- The Back Porch Majority

Ol’ Man River-Showboat

After the show we headed to the engine room to hear Ms. Jackie (previously known as Paula Deen) belt them out. This is where I lost the plot. Mother and Dotty went to bed and Rod and I ordered about 1000 glasses of wine. We sang, I danced, I twirled that sweet little lady around the dance floor multiple times and we gazed out onto the silent Mississippi and up at the dazzling sky above. I nearly cried with pleas for the banjo player to help me find one on this trip. He told me there is a store in port today with decent ones so I gave him my card. Get ready for my Christmas show!

I woke this morning around 7:30 still pleasantly buzzed and did morning stretches on the balcony as we pulled into a foggy Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Sadly the town has decided to jack hammer the dock at 8am so my head is about to explode. The boat apparently has tried to wipe out the noise with more noise- a rag time band! So I think I will end this epistle and try to get some shut eye in the bathroom, or just get up with the grannies and get going.

More tomorrow.

Last Day! Monaco and Eze

Last day! But what a way to wake up- In the port of Monaco we tower over the largest ships, apparently the one next to us is one of six owned by a Saudi Prince and his daily slip fee is $26,000. And who isn’t helping Syria? Honestly...

Since several of us from the group have already spent numerous times in this principality we decided to hire a taxi and visit Eze. I haven’t been there since I was 14 and remembered the tiny winding streets and mile high views. It did not disappoint. 

We hired the loveliest of drivers to take us to Eze. It always amazes me how gracious the French can be when you are not in Paris. He suggested a stop by Fragonard, an old perfume factory and another place I visited when I was a teen. We arrived at 8:30am and were the first ones in the door. The smells were delectable and the shopping was just what mother needed after 12 days of buying zero. 

Brett and Gayle and I walked and walked and climbed and hiked till we reached the top of this towering village. We could see Cap d’Antibes, St. Tropez, Cap Ferrat and all of the other glittering little spots I have grown up reading about in Tender is the Night and all those other 20’s lullabies. 

 I love these mini tractors they use to haul things around Eze.

 My favorite symbol- the Salamander of Francois I's.

We found an olive oil store carved out of the side of a hill called Deli. It was smaller than my closet at home but stocked full of amazing infused oils. The handsome owner let us sample the lavender, basil and spicy infused treat. What a tonic! 

Please click and enlarge these to enjoy the full view. They are surreal...

Yes, that's a heap of Jasmine!

After we wound down the town of Eze we took a cab back to Monaco and had lunch in front of the casino. It was a little decadent but where else does one eat in Monaco? After finishing a bottle of wine and taking a tour around we headed back to the ship. Realizing it was way too far we found another delightful cab driver who belted out Frank Sinatra all the way to the ship. 

Once back from our last port I high tailed it to the hot tub and spent an hour squeezing the last  drops of sun out of the Mediterranean while watching the ship pull out and head to Barcelona where we will fly out of Friday morning. We love that city but we have spent plenty of time there in the past and after 17 days away we were both looking forward to home. 

Mother has a trip to Florida for Danielle’s graduation party and then a wedding to plan for July 15th for my oldest niece. I have friends in town next week, need to spend a great deal of time in the office and cannot wait to give Fergus countless hours of playtime and attention. I miss him so!

Don’t think we don’t already have another cruise lined up. This one on a paddle boat down the Mississippi River in November with Rod and his mother, Dotty. This trip may have had it’s exotic moments but tootin' down to Nawlin’s on a paddle boat sippin' mint juleps and peaking at plantations from their backyards is going to be more Lucullan than anything ole Monaco could possibly offer. 

Thanks for reading and more soon!

Love