American Queen Adventure Day Six

I am renaming Vicksburg, ‘Sicksburg’. Holy hot dog I haven’t been that queasy since college. Thank you to the crew for Patron and fried everything! But it was fun to see people who I have encountered daily and now I know them quite well after our wild night. Oh that waitress was twirling! That server was vogueing! I think I motor boated that cleaning lady! 

We had quite a lovely day in ‘The Red Carpet To The South’ as Vicksburg calls itself. We opted out of all the Civil War battleground tours and decided to stroll the main street with it’s lovely shops and head to a handsome antebellum home for lunch. Anchuca was the home of Jefferson Davis’ brother and Jefferson gave an important speech from it’s balcony in 1865. I googled for great places to eat in town and this stoic B&B popped up for having some of the finest dining in the area. 

Dotty, Rod, Mom and I walked the quiet gentile neighborhoods until we found the house. There we had awesome chicken salad, pecan pie and iced tea then took a tour of the home and poked around the bedrooms and gardens. We then strolled back to the court house where we waited for about 20 minutes for the tour bus to pick us up to take us back to the boat.

Oddly enough that was a highlight for me. We don’t ‘just sit’ nearly enough these days and it harkened back to an era pre cell phones where one would simply sit and wait patiently for a ride to come. I organized acorns from a massive oak and made them into a little work of art. Then I took the tops off and made them into Lady Gaga nail extensions. Mom and Dotty just sat in the sun and baked while Rod toured around the block spotting the random curiosities he is known to find (Cator, did you see that purple glitter car?!). Serenity.

We finally got picked up and headed back to the boat where I rested up for dinner and our nightly activities. I did pop up to the Front Porch for a snack and discovered the hot dog machine. Hot Dog! While I was making mine, Carli, one of the waitresses asked me to pull two off the grill for her. She then refused my offer of two hot buns but instead, quietly plopped them both in a cup and sashayed off. I about hemorrhaged in shock and awe and requested a picture. God Bless that girl.

That evening the entertainers presented a show called ‘Walking in Memphis’. Lots of glitter, gospel and blues. Very entertaining. And on that note I crashed. My liver sent a little blessing to heaven.

American Queen Adventure Day Five

Today was a day on the river. We paddled down with the goal to reach Vicksburg  around 6pm. Success! Days on the water are my favorite - sleeping late, painting, lots of gym time, loads of reading and relaxing and meditating on the water. 

                                          (Sunrise painting of birds, buoys and sand bars)

I was pretty tired from the night before so I was sure I would be in bed by 10pm. Wrong. Some of the crew invited me to head into town for ‘a drink’ when we arrived at port. I turned them down, Mother called me a wimp so I rallied and headed out. 

                                  (Our sizzlin' waitress Dorothy posing with me and Mr. Keenan)

We found a surprisingly good lookin’ bar called The Biscuit Factory. It is an old brick building with a nice bar, fried everything and....wait....karaoke. And therein is my downfall.

Children, Uncle Cator got drunker than Cooter Brown. It really wasn’t my fault. 

The crew ordered about six rounds of Patron shots in a row. We ordered so much that the bartender had to drive to the liquor store - twice! It started out with 5-6 of us but the drunker we got, the more texts went out and by the end of the night there were around 45 crew members at the bar dancing, singing, smoking and eventually playing strip foozball. That’s right folks! I ended up wearing some dude’s cowboy boots around the bar while singing ‘Jolene

You know I had to sing a song or twelve. The one’s I remember singing are:

‘Proud Mary’- Twice - Did anyone realize this song is about Steam Boats? (Big wheels keep on turning/Rolling down the river)

‘Cabaret’ - You know, my standard party popper

‘Rehab’ - Don’t ever sing this drunk. It doesn’t work

‘Islands in the Stream’ - With another crew member. The highlight of the evening

There may have been more but I don’t remember. I do remember twirling a girl around the dance floor and when I picked her up and spun her around everyone screamed with excitement. We are famous! Actually, I had lifted her skirt above her butt and revealed everything to everyone. Dang it. 

Thank God for the fried Jalapeno’s, fried cheese dongs, french fries and fried pickles. There was a Civil War in my stomach for sure. 

We bobbled back to the boat around 3am. The next day was truly a black day on The American Queen for half the staff. Zombie boat!