The Boat!

Ok, please give me one totally snobby post about this boondocks boat we are sailing on, then it will be out of my system!

We boarded ship yesterday at 1pm. We have always known this wasn't the kind of ship we were used to. For years we have been cruising around on tiny Windstar sailboat yachts or Regent luxury liners from Greece to Lisbon and Russia. But we heard about this trip and thought it would be a lark to go cheap and see the Middle East.

The ship itself is beautiful and well done but the people! I don't know which country does inbreeding better, England or Germany but they are all on this ship. Throw in some Russians and Portuguese too. So not only can we not communicate with many passengers (that goes for the English too with their cockney!) but every announcement is made in four languages.

Then there is the food. Lunch is a free for all food line of all you can eat of everything I wouldn't. But these people are pushing, scrambling, inhaling everything in site. Can I please just get some chicken salad? Dinner so far has been good and we got an awesome wine list. The champagne bar can't be beat either.

Then there is the branding of this entire situation. I just don't get why Royal Caribbean think's middle aged men from Cork would want to hear rap and bad 80's music piped through the entire ship? And then the bands poolside are so loud I have avoided the area all together. Does Ivana from Yugoslavia like that? I have no idea. And every time you turn a corner there is someone dressed as a dolphin or holding a life ring (?) while an Adam Lambert look alike (although it's a girl) springs out of nowhere to take your picture.

Besides all of this, our suite is lovely (although the fact that it is a suite and that we were supposed to share this tiny room with my sister, Happy, is deranged) with a large balcony, the crew is sweet, the gym is fantastic and all in all, you simply can't go wrong waking up listening to the waves lapping and pulling into an exotic port.

This morning we pulled into Fujairah (Fellatia!) and mother in I took the shuttle into the city center and hired a cab to take us to the Friday Market where were were to find glittery table runners for gifts and a solid ball of camels milk which I bit into and nearly gagged so hard I turned inside out. Leave it to me!

We then headed back and just relaxed on deck. Tonight is formal night! So I'm sure Ms. Lambert will be in full force with the camera. But we will take it in stride after a champagne flute or two.


Tomorrow Mystical Muscat!

Dubai Day Three

With a little Advil at 8am, we managed to wake up and be ready for our day trip to Sharjah after our boozy night before.

So how did I meet a Sheikha from Sharjah? My friend Faris from BOFFO told me he had a friend who was not only a Princess but a major player in the art world in the Middle East.
Her Biennial is coming up on the 14th (the day I head back to the States!) and loads of A list art world people are heading over to check it out.

Clearly, this was someone I had to meet. Hoor emailed me right back with an invitation to visit her in Sharjah and included a full itinerary for the day.

At 9:30am her driver Aslam met us at the hotel and took us to her Emirate. It was so different from Dubai. Not nearly as glitzy there was a real feeling of history here. Their corniche was so elegant with French inspired light posts and a pinkish stone balustrade curving around it reminded mother and I of the Riviera.  There is a much more cozy atmosphere in Sharjah which isn't exactly an adjective people relate to the Emirates.

                                                                 (an elephant clock!)

Next stop was the Heritage Museum where we learned about local crafts, culture and food. Everyone was so sweet and even wanted a picture with us. It was a nice change from malls and skyscrapers and a reminder that there was actually life here before oil.

       (The guide is putting incense under mothers shirt. This is how they used to clean their       clothes when there wasn't much water around)

We finally met Hoor (that is not her above!)  at the art museum and she took us around the permanent exhibits as well as the installations for the Biennial. It's going to be an amazing event and I'm sorry I'm missing it. In two years I'll come back!
        (An artists instillation at the museum. Lets hope it doesn't rain before the show!)

Wel left Hoor to her work and headed to the big Souq. We were so very excited to check it out and to get some gifts (the soul here isn't as touristy as the ones in Dubai) but alas, we got there at 3 while everyone is closed for prayers! Out of 200 shops maybe four were open. Sad face.

Aslam took us back to Dubai where we changed clothes and headed back out for an evening in the desert. This was one of those touristy events that everyone does while here. We were a bit afraid. We were put into a van with another family and kids from America and whisked out to the desert outside of Dubai, about an hour drive. We all got out, our driver, Babylon let the air out of the tires and we took off on the dunes.

This could of been amusing except he put in a CD of his favorite techno hits and turned it on full blast AND sang along. Let me tell you, a Kenyan screeching Katy Perry's Fireworks, is not something you want to hear in your lifetime.

Once he was done with that he dropped mother and I off with a Pakistani man and some camels and said he would see us for dinner. OK! Mother and I stumbled onto these beasts, nearly fell off when they stood up and then clambered around the sand dunes watching ths sun set and listening to the wind, a great relief after the techno tragic van ride.



Our guide finally led us to our camp, a lovely curtained affair with rugs strewn about, a shisha and loads of pillows. We asked where everyone else went and our cook told us they were all taken to a camp that seats 200. PTL we didn't end up there!



Wine was poured, food was served in abundance and mother and I watched the sunset, listened to the night and watched the desert mice as they rand between our feet for crumbs. Babylon came back to help cook and he was good fun when he wasn't singing.


They turned off all the lanterns and we just stared into the sky for a long time, mother drinking, while I hit the hookah. The perfect evening.

We got back to the hotel around 11pm and mother was in bed before her clothes were off. I packed and passed out fairly fast. Shisha and wine can do that to you.

Tomorrow the boat!

Dubai Day Two

Today was a rather relaxed day. Thank God since Friday was spin city!
We woke up at ten (I was still feeling sick/sinusy/achy) had a quick breakfast then read in the room till 12:30.
Then it was time for our high tea at the Burj Al Arab! That's the seven star hotel situated on its own island. We taxied over, gave our name and reservation number to security (nobody is allowed in to just gawk at the splendor) and zizzed up to the main entrance.

It's hard not to be amazed at this place. The fountains, the colors, the 'world's largest atrium' but the interiors kind of remind me of something from Epcot in the 80's.




We snooped around the shops and found a dazzling diamond studded gun before sitting down for a seven course, two hour tea. HEAVEN!

I had an aromatic lotus blossom tea and immediately began sweating like a pig in heat. Fever breaking! I sweated it out for the rest of the day and am now sick free, that was some tea.
We dined on sammiches, mixed fruit, scones, salmon, pastries and champagne while listening to live Arabic music and later a piano while gazing out at the jewel colored sea. We could of stayed for hours.



Afterwards we took the glass elevator up to the top of the hotel to see the Sky Bar that overlooks the ocean. We attempt to walk in and a hostess kindly asks us if we have a reservation.
"No, we just want to have a drink."
"I'm sorry sir but the bar is closed for high tea."
After we thought our high tea was so chic we find out we could of booked in the Sky Bar with Lucite piano and spectacular views! Now we know for next time.

We then go from 7 star to no star as we head to the Karama shopping center in the poor area of Dubai (yes, there is one) where we were told to go to get leather sandals that a friend found there and my sister fell in love with. Hell on Earth! Buzzed with champagne we enter a cave like mall with dirty floors, broken lights and children running rampant with men shouting at us, "Marc Jacobs bags! Marc Jacobs Bags! Rolex!" talk about culture shock. We never found the sandals and run out as fast as possible.

We head back to the hotel and walk over to the mall. I had to do more damage at the Arabic tailors shop (gifts!) and wanted to see what the Harvey Nichols was like over here (small but cute!).
                                                 (The highlight for us at Emirates Mall!)
                                                    (Blinged out Bumper Pool Game!)
        (Some of the younger Emirate men wear their head scarves with a certain pizazz!)
Then we came home, did a quick change and Ian picked us up at 7pm for dinner at his and Karen's house.

I met them in Botswana and Chloe and Peter's wedding and they have lived in Dubai for six years (from South Africa) where they run a film company. They live in a big old house not far from our hotel with a Jack Russell and a big white dog that is wild, temperamental and totally adorable.

                                               (Loving this table cloth from Africa)

                                                  (They are just playing, I promise)

They invited a load of friends and family over and we drank, ate and laughed till 11pm. If only I could write the stories I heard about the middle east on this blog! But I think I may have a head hunter out for me if I did. There is nothing like spending time in a friends house in a far away place to really feel comfortable in a city. And it was quite odd to be sipping wine poolside with the call to prayer from the local mosque blaring all around us. 

                                                               ("And here is Fellatia")
                                            (Ian's grandmothers leopard coat from the 1930's)
Karen showed me her chickens who lay eggs for their breakfast and Ian's Biltong maker which he brought from South Africa (Salman you would love that thing!).

Since drinking and driving results in a year in jail, Ian called us a cab then showed us a map of the Persian Gulf and was showing us the route our ship would be sailing. Mother asked in the most serious tone, "So tell me where Fellatia is..."
Pause
Pause
ROARING Laughter.
She meant Fujairah. Fellatio was the word of the evening. 


Off to bed and tomorrow a day a Sharjah with their Sheikha.

The Caftan Crusade, Day one in Dubai

The Emerald City
That's all I can think of when I gaze at Dubai. The new Burj Khalifa, the world's largest tower is the spitting image of Oz. The stewardess' on Emirates reminded me of Glenda the Good Witch and the airport with its glittering columns and green back lit walls was just awaiting munchkins. 


 Day one here has been a dazzle frazzle. Sensory overload! We woke and had local jet fuel coffee (Mother was in heaven) then headed over to the Mall of Emirates where they have the indoor ski slope.
 I of course found a tailor and made a bee line for a Kandoorah. The nice man measured me and found me the perfect one. When I asked for a picture he dolled me up in full local drag!
 Then we met our friend Goncalo for lunch. Mother and I met him when he worked at the Lapa Palace in Lisbon and through Facebook we have kept in touch. He is now a steward with Emirates and happily lives here. The world is simply too small.
 We toured around the Jumeirah hotel with great views of the Burj.
 And the color of the sea here is just sublime!

 We said goodbye to Goncalo and met up with our tour guide Roxy who zipped us to the Palm Island where we checked out the Atlantis hotel and their little aquarium.
 Then we headed to the museum to see what Dubai used to look like as a fishing village (which was only 30 years ago). Roxy told us a friend of hers who is around 50 years old and was born in Dubai said he doesn't really know how old he is because the town was so small back then there were not birth records!
 We then jumped on a water taxi and zipped across the 'creek' for the gold and spice souks. YAY!

 The rose buds smelled amazing and the yellow balls on the far right are dried lemons. I bought chocolates that look like rocks and are made with camels milk. Don't ask.

BLING!

 And we ended the day dead tired at the world's largest mall, The Dubai mall where we watched the fountain's dance (just like Las Vegas) and dined outside to crowd watch.
By 9pm we were tuckered out so here we are in bed at 10:30. Tomorrow is high tea at the seven star hotel and dinner with friends I met in Botswana.But tonight, there's no place like home. Or at least our hotel.

Fergus Dingwall

Today I met my first puppy. I've always had dogs,  wonderful, beautiful mutts, but I have never had a purebred.

Yes, make me run the gauntlet but I've always wanted a Scottish Terrier.

My grandmother always regaled me with stories of Fala. She used to visit the Whitehouse as a child and Fala was always the perfect disposal for the rather unsavory menu offered by Mrs. Roosevelt.

Having a dog is a big responsibility in New York City. It's not like Atlanta where we just let them out the back door for a wiz. It's a walk at all hours! But I think I'm ready for it.


Today I went out to bumble whoo haa Pennsylvania and met the dog I googled last week. Adopting a dog is a strenuous a task as any. I have been let down time after time by breeders. And yes, I have looked on every adoption site on the Eastern Seaboard but alas, no Scotties.

So today I met my love. I've named him Fergus Dingwall. A Scottish name if ever there was. My friends Angela and Colin suggested the name Fergus, I found Dingwall as a surname from an old Viking town in Scotland.

Erla, the breeder, met us at the door and hastily brought out the puppy. He was sleepy when we met but came to life after a bit of time with me, Soumanjoy and Olivia.


After bonding with him for a bit, it was hard to give him back. His wide paws, his growing snout, his blue black gums and puppy breath had me in ecstasy. My own little Scot.


After we left we had an amusing and eye opening tour of Amish country.
First stop, The Carriage Corner Restaurant where we were quite the rare creatures. A Southerner ( I protested at Pepsi!), a French and an Indian, we had the whole place in a buzz.

But we ate like locals, Soumanjoy with a full rack of ribs, I ate honey 'dip't' chicken and Olivia the full salad bar. It was divine. Very Po Folks!




Next we heading out into the rural far stretches of America. Amish Country Awesomeness. Silos, red barns, carriages, horses and laundry lines by the mile.






And then it was the trek home. How horrid Saturday evening traffic, but all I could think about was Fergus and bringing him home on  March 19th. Fingers crossed it all goes well!


Meeting the Duchess of Devonshire


This happened way back in November and I'm just getting around to posting it. I just finished Debo Devonshire's latest book, Wait for me! and it is now one of my top favorites.

Back on November 10th, the Duchess was in NYC promoting this new book and had a do at The Frick called, Fizz and Sparkle: The Effervescent Life of Deborah, the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire.

I had this event in my calendar for ages. I have been a huge fan of hers for years. One because she adores chickens and two because she lived in and restored Chatsworth, one of England's greatest houses. Of course since she is a Mitford sister that helped too.
                                                                 Chatsworth House

Going through piles of books a week before Rod found a book entitled, The Duchess of Devonshire's Ball, a book about a grand ball given by a former Duchess of Devonshire for Queen Victoria's Jubilee in 1897. It was a DOOZY. I tucked it into my Filson and read it all over town and frankly forgot I even had it with my that day.

When the lecture was over I was dashing out the door and noticed the Duchess quietly sitting in the winter garden at a table waiting to sign books. But all these neds were so fixated on the free wine they didn't notice her. I pondered buying the book ( I already had it on Kindle) but then realized I had the Ball book. Hark!

I moseyed over to her table and pulled it out for her to sign.
"Good Heavens Charlotte! Look what this dear boy brought us," the Duchess exclaimed.
"Whatever is it?" Charlotte asked busily.
"Oh my well it's my daughter Sophie's book she wrote ages ago! Oh dear you do have a rare book on your hands." She said at me with a smile, peering over her glasses that were so thick they could fry an ant in China.

With that she signed it and bid me adieu. By then the line was snaking around marble busts, ferns and fountains but I was merrily finished.

I have gotten ahead of myself. The whole point of this post was supposed to be what I learned from the Duchess' lecture.
Here we go:

  • First off it was pointed out by Colin (from the Frick who introduced the ladies) that the chairs they would be sitting in were actually bought by Henry Frick from the 9th Duke of Devonshire so they had come full circle.
  • The Kennedy's were great friends of hers and when they arrived in London in 1938 with nine kids they caused a sensation
  • Rose Kennedy had the best body in London!
  • Catherine 'Kick' Kennedy was her closest friend and married her husbands older brother who was supposed to be the next Duke but was killed in WW II.
  • There is a secret door in the library at Chatsworth and the only way you know it's there is by the names of the fake books adorning it such as E. Motion, A study of Feelings, D. Motion, The Study of War and Nik Nak by Patty Wak.
  • In Tearing Haste, is how she signed off many a letter
  • On a visit to the Royal Family at Sandringham she noticed a hoof of a prize winning horse on her bedside table. She turned it over to see if it had a golden shoe and red inked spilled all over the carpet. Luckily it was removed when she came back from dinner.
  • Her sister Nancy Mitford was quite the embroider to say the least, but she portrayed their father perfectly.
  • What does she look forward most now that she is 90? An empty appointment book!
 Taken with my Blackberry, but here is Charlotte Mosely (Debo's niece) and the Dowager   Duchess in conversation in those chairs.

And here is a dreamy interview with the Dowager Duchess reflecting on her fizzy life.

The Castle on NYMag.com

I met Wendy Goodman at a dinner last year (thanks Stacy!) and we fell in love.
I have admired her writing for years and she had heard about The Castle for years.
So last month she trekked up to the house for tea and Harlem homemade goodies and snapped away.

Rod and I both thought she would be coming back to take the official pictures and have since
spruced, revamped, trashed and bought countless things only for the scouting pics to be used. Alas. Thank goodness she has a good eye!
Check it out here.

I have also included more images of our house so people can get more of a sense of where we live, work and do our passing out.

Enjoy and come see us.

Love-
Cator

 This is the front of our house (far left). The architect of our house built the rest of this stretch of the block as well.
 My living room looking out to the garden terrace.
 Dining area with recently acquired 19th century French chandelier. (Haven't tried swinging from it yet)
 The garden terrace.
And last but not least, the bar!!!! And a portrait of me done by Justin Giunta for my 30th birthday.

Treats from Sips & Bites

I was about to head to Duane Rizzle to get some crap food to bring on the plane to Atlanta tomorrow when my buzzer rang and a glittery box arrived at my door.

Molly Quirk, who everyone knows from her ridonkulous catering she provides for my annual birthday bash (mini Hot Browns?!) has started her own catering company and sent these delicious boxes to friedns and family.

Mine was filled with:
Mexican hot chocolate brownies

Mini apple loaf with oatmeal streusel

Mini cranberry loaf with pecan streusel


Candied spiced nuts

Cocktail napkins

Liquor chocolates (just a little ghetto thrown in!)


Now I have the perfect group of treats for the plane and for my car ride to Charleston.
Thanks Molly!
Y'all email her if you need some vittels in your life!

Art Basel Coverage

It was a caftan-mosphere in Art Basel

This year when pondering what the hell I was going to wear for five days in the heat of Miami at the kookiest art/fashion event of the year I just figured- LETS DO IT!
All caftans.
So I rolled up the following:
  • My first caftan I bought in Egypt in navy with red and white embroidery which apparently is a woman's wedding gown

  • The black djellaba Rod and PHJ brought me from Morrocco

  • The African one I had made for Chloe's wedding in Botswana

  • My newest one from John Bartlett with a camo print of his late and wonderful three legged dog, Tiny Tim
The result? The best idea ever! All I had to do is roll out of bed, throw one on and head out, bathing suit underneath. At night I would add a turban and voila.

Laure, one of the owners of The Webster informed me that they are called Boubou's in West Africa.
YAY a new name!
Djellaba
Caftan
Boubou


Now I have to find four new ones for next year. I'm not too worried, John and I are already talking new prints and there are a load of spots on 125th Street that can whip some up.



Now if only I could get one lines in cashmere for this frost freeze. Pringle of Scotland are you listening?

PS- Billy Farrell is totally responsible for coining 'caftan-mosphere' as you can see here:

Thanksgiving 2010

This was a special Thanksgiving with mom and dad heading up to Yankee territory for the annual feast. I hosted again this year and had a gaggle of gals and guys up. Everyone got an A+ for bringing delicious food and plenty of booze.

Alistair and Beatrice had a ball, the only pitfall being when Alistair and I snapped the wish bone and when he won he began sobbing because his wish hadn't been granted- he wasn't flying....

The day wouldnt be complete without a teeter over to Lucy and Scott's for a night cap and a giggle.

We did contemplate a trip to the Lenox Lounge but dogs had to be walked and stomachs were stuffed and it began to drizzle.

Next time!

Leftovers have been in full effect since Thursday. Thanks mom for making that awesome turkey soup!












My Post for SHOWStudio.com's 'The Fashion Body'

One of my favorite and most respected fashion websites, SHOWstudio.com has been working on a portfolio of essay's and videos on how the fashion world sees the human body. There are amazing videos from influential designers and tastemakers about each part of the body. Anna Dello Russo's is amusing for NOSE, Phyllis Posnick's RIGHT EAR and Lady Gaga's LEFT EYE are also treats. They are all amazing to be honest both video and essay.

It was a huge honor to be asked to contribute to this body of work. Not only is Nick Knight (the founder) a huge inspiration but also my body is something I have always wanted to write about. Being average weight in the gay world is simply not done and I have had many moments of huge insecurity from the community for not having a six pack or huge guns. But as you will read, my love for Southern food far outweigh's my need for the perfect body.

I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave comments. I have already had two emails from strangers who thanked me for writing about something that has affected them for years. Alas, the reason I write.

Thank you Indigo Clarke for setting this up! 

Tenth Annual Pumpkin Carving Party!

I can't believe it's been that long but the picture on Mark and Mary's fridge attests. Wow how times have changed. There is still chili, still pumpkins and still Barge, Brian and usually Ian but now we have three little munchkins in the mix. Bea looked so grown up when I came in this year I nearly teared up. And she changed costumes about four times.
Soumanjoy experienced his first carving party and dang if he didn't carve a mean pumpkin.
I of course took all the seed to roast at home in brown sugar. (They were a hit at Rod and PHJ's cocktail party the next night).
Thanks Mark and Mary for keeping the flame alive!









                                          The olden days with Rick and Charlotte in the mix!

Club Monaco's New Culutre Club

I have to admit, the first email I received about this project I sent back  with  a prompt, 'no'. I can't write for one more site! I love the ones I write for now and I want to give them all the attention they deserve.
Then, embarrassingly, I got an email back from Club Monaco kindly letting me know I did not read the email properly and they just wanted me to submit some images that inspire me with quick quote. OH!

And now I'm addicted. I take pictures of all sorts of things around the house and out on the street. I don't think Club Monaco will ever use them all, alas.

But this new site looks great! It's the perfect place to peruse interesting images and get inspired for your own, as well as to see what Club Monaco clothes are looking like these days. Pretty slick!

Click and enjoy and see if you can find my pics.

Ralph Lauren's New Womenswear Mansion









Link
I may of never said it out loud but I am always wondering, "Why can't they build building like they used to?"
Yes glass towers will never leave our design aesthetic but for smaller shops, stores, boutiques and yes even houses, what ever happened to good ole limestone?
Well Ralph Lauren nearly made my weep yesterday when I went to visit his new mansion on 72nd and Madison Avenue that houses his womenswear collections and homewares on the top floor.

The building is designed like a Beaux Arts mansion, and the press is saying it is the first mansion built on the Upper East Side since 1918. His menswear is in the Rhinelander Mansion on the opposite side of Madison.
I can't tell you how many times I tapped things. Is it all real? Yes it is. Real limestone, real wrought iron banisters, real crystal chandeliers, real marble floors. I know it sounds tacky, but I was just amazed in this day and age a space like this could be built.

The entire mansion had the scent of Tuberose wafting through and every sales person and shopper were doe eyed. All of this splendor just opened last Friday.

When I was in the fine jewelry room the young, chic sales girl just spun around smiling saying, "I'm just so luck to work in such a place of beauty!" Isn't that just marvelous?

It reminded me when we opened Jeffrey New York back in 1999 and we were all so excited and everyone who came in had a smile on their face and a credit card ready to smoke out. Remember those halcyon days?

The only fake thing I found were the props. Fake flowers abound and the caviar at the bar was little black beads. I didn't check the whiskey in the decanters but I assume that was tea...

I loved that I saw a rather brawny man in plaid and lumber jack boots wearing a white lab coat monogrammed with RL. I finally realized he was part of the visuals team and had to hide his woodsy look with a lab coat to look more pristine in the all white environment. How YSL of Mr. Lauren.

As you know I don't care much for womans clothes (no drag jokes please!). Hey if I can't wear it, why obsess over it? So I marched up that divine staircase to the homewares section. Decadence to the deuxieme fois. Each room was carefully curated as bedroom, living room, bar room. Plus there were piles of books, candles, what nots and hoo has for gifts, or to just marvel at.

Upon leaving I saw two old grand dames walking in arm and arm and one looked around and exclaimed, "Well Helen if this doesn't get people outta their recession rut I don't know what will! Have you evah seen sucha place?"

He friend simple shook her head and smiled.

Thank you Mr. Lauren for giving New York something glamorous to gaze at again.

My New Blue Bedroom, or my 'Bluedoir'


I have been itching to repaint my room for some time now. Nine years of 'Butternut Squash', many parties, suitcases, cocktails and more parties, the paint was lookin ratty and I was ready for a change.


Ever since I went to Catherine's Palace in Russia, I have been obsessed over bright blue in design. Then seeing rooms in old plantation homes and townhouses in Charleston I was hooked.

So I picked out this bright blue, (I will never tell you the name Mr. Moore gave it) I call Monticello Blue, headed to Atlanta for the weekend and had the room revamped.

I'm happy as a blue jay with the results and rearranged my decor to give the next a new feel. I was looking for something new to add to the mix and when I saw mothers portrait from when she was 16 I knew I had to ship it up from Atlanta.

There are still some tweeks I would like to make but waking up in such a color is like waking up on a cloud, not quite Catherine's Palace, but close enough for me.

Enjoy.